emigrate to the suburbs

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hello it's me. i've thought about us for a long, long time. maybe i think too much.


yeah so here i am again. ever so contrite for having missed so many fridays. but every morning is a classic shitshow case. i land in my seat at 6a and the questions start at 6:01a. and they don't stop! and i ain't complaining! and i ain't pretending like this shit is hard! it's my job! and boy(s and girls) are we lucky to be doing it! and everyone goes to a job where they get questions from the moment they sit down! 

and building out a brewery/restaurant ain't anything special or different. but priorities just shifted a bit on friday mornings. my heart's been with y'all. but my brain and body are elsewhere. 

oh also! i've been so under a stone that i don't know what in the hell's going on in america right now. and when i sat back and thought about whether i could summon a rant of any sort, i thought __________ (zip). nope. nōp. nothing. i got'd nothin'. but a blank mind. and i thought "hmm, what's the last travesty i could call back?" and then it came to me.

remember when donald trump's administration separated tiny, adorable children from their parents at the border in an effort to deter emigration to these beautiful, glorious, wide-open, fertile united states? just sit back and think of that out of context. far removed and gone from all the shouting. like, your political team has moved on to caring about something else this week. maybe alexandria ocasio-cortez? anyway. outside of the context of the decision to fuck with little children. how does a policy meant to fuck with little children sound?

and i hate appealing to economics in a conversation about immigration. but, you know, the states of arizona, texas, and california are starved for workers (unemployment rates of 4.7%, 4%, and 4.2%, respectively). there's plenty of work in those places to go around. that said, if unemployment was high, it would still be fucking lunacy to hurt desperate immigrants just to prove a political point and burn up a couple libs.

i hope that while we lose our heads in work the rest of you haven't forgotten about the monster in the white house. i hope that you get some time at the end of the year to exhale and hug a few people you love. to think about how lucky you are not to be so desperate that you'd rather walk 1,000 miles than stay in your own home another moment longer. much less how lucky you are not to have lost all ability to contact your parents when you finished your journey. or how lucky you are that "emigrating" to you is likely moving to a home you just bought in the suburbs. or moving to another hipster city.

holy shit i just thought of an amazing garbage-play to write: 32yo white cissy boy( and girl) move to the suburbs and can't find their parents anywhere.

i didn't think i had a rant in me. but, you know, the fingers float. anyway, we're all in very good moods. it might not seem like it from this hello paragraph. but we are! i swear it! we love the holidays! we get all our sadness out while listening to christmas card from a hooker in minneapolis and then we're happy happy happy!